Why I recommend saying yes during panic attacks

My own experience

In 2014 I struggled with panic attacks myself. I received various pieces of advice – including professional help from a therapist.

I tried breathing and relaxation exercises. I tried to distract myself, calm myself down, or counter physical sensations with things like cold water.

Some of that may have helped briefly. But none of it addressed the real problem: I desperately wanted to prevent the panic or get rid of it as quickly as possible.

Every new physical sensation remained an alarm signal. As soon as I noticed an attack might be starting, inner resistance kicked in:

No. Not again. This must not happen now.

And exactly that fight against the panic gave the alarm system fresh reason to keep going.

The decisive shift in perspective

What finally helped was a radically simple message I came across through a video and Roger Baker’s book Understanding Panic Attacks and Overcoming Fear:

Stop fighting the panic. Say yes to it.

Not: Yes, the feared catastrophe will happen.

But:

“Yes, this sensation is here now. Yes, my body is doing this right now. I let it happen.”

I did not only think this yes – I expressed it physically. I nodded my head and kept saying:

Yes. Okay. This is how it is now.

When a frightening new thought appeared, I said yes to that too. When my heartbeat grew stronger, dizziness or restlessness came, I nodded again.

The panic was allowed to be there. Gradually, it lost its power.

Why no special technique is needed

Many tips against panic are not fundamentally wrong. Slow breathing, movement, fresh air, or cold water can feel helpful.

The problem arises when you start to believe:

“I can only get through a panic attack if this aid is available.”

But an attack can occur exactly where you have little room to act: on a plane, in a stuck subway, in a crowd, or in a situation you cannot simply leave.

Then the missing aid itself becomes a new reason for panic.

Saying yes, by contrast, needs no preparation and no external conditions. I can do it anywhere. It moves me out of the role of someone desperately waiting to be rescued and back into an active position:

I choose not to fight what is happening anyway.

What I observed afterwards

I later shared this simple approach with other people experiencing anxiety and panic. They too reported that this shift in perspective helped them.

That does not mean every panic disorder is resolved with a single sentence. Recurring attacks can be driven by stress, avoidance behaviour, or other psychological and physical factors that need additional treatment.

But for the acute moment, the message is remarkably complete:

It is unpleasant, but not dangerous. I do not fight it. I say yes and let it happen.

Further reading

My main book recommendation on this topic is:

Roger Baker: Understanding Panic Attacks and Overcoming Fear

German title:

Wenn plötzlich die Angst kommt – Panikattacken verstehen und überwinden

Baker is a clinical psychologist and explains clearly what happens in the body during a panic attack, why fear of the next attack keeps the problem going, and how to break out of that cycle.

The video through which I also came across this approach:

Dr. Harry Barry: Doctor Explains How to Stop a Panic Attack (Youtube, 2014)